One of the most difficult events to deal with in a marriage is when one or the other spouse becomes uninterested in maintaining physical intimacy within the marriage. It is never easy in trying to figure out how to handle a sexless marriage or marriage with no intimacy. However, there are some things that you can try to see if the issue can be resolved.
Communication is, first and foremost, the key to resolving all issues in a marriage. Speaking from the point of the view of the partner who wants and needs intimacy, you should try to get your partner to talk about why he or she is uninterested in physical intimacy. There may be many reasons or simply one big one, but whatever it is, you need to know about it. Knowing is half the battle sometimes.
A lot of times the reason is something you can work with, as in counseling, getting away alone more often, or any of the things that can take you back to the place when the 2 of you were madly in love and couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Many times that’s all that’s needed, just to return to the beginning. This new love may not be present anymore, but the feeling can be re-captured once the door is opened just a crack.
Your marriage can become a passionate one once more but only if your partner is willing to work on it, too. Often, that is just not the case. This is when you may need to make some difficult decisions. If your partner is so far on the other side of the fence as to be unreachable, you may bring up the possibility of an “open” marriage. This is a situation where the 2 of you stay married but agree that you will be allowed to seek sex outside of the marriage. While it may seem like a workable solution, it can eventually cause even worse problems between the 2 of you due to feelings of jealousy and resentment. Many times even though the partner who isn’t interested in sex has given you permission to seek fulfillment elsewhere, that partner can still become jealous. On the other hand, you may become resentful that you have to look to strangers to give you what you should be able to get at home.
In the event that your partner digs his or her heels in on the subject of sex and refuses to work on the problem, you may choose to leave the marriage. Sometimes this is the only solution to help you move on with your life and give you the chance for a more normal relationship.